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Deviant for 9 Years
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Saying Goodbye
There was something else to say but I couldn't sort my frantic mind out enough to let you know what I was thinking. Instead, the words were tripping over themselves on my tongue and even if I could have made sense of them in time to say them before we said goodbye, I know they'd have meant nothing to you anyway. It was too late to change things – we couldn't take back the day that had gone so horribly wrong and broken the pounding heart in my aching chest – so instead I had to try and seal away all the leftover emotion I felt for you in a chaste kiss pressed to your cheek.
Then that was it, I was walking away, still looking over my shoulder as I climbed the stairs at the railway station. I kept my eyes trained on yours until they disappeared from sight and I kept watching until all I could see was your feet and then eventually you were gone from view completely.
I'll always remember it because it was the last time I'll ever see you. I'll always remember the pain of knowing th
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The Most [Unexpectedly] Beautiful Feeling
Do you want to know what the most beautiful thing in the world is?
It's when someone says "I love you" to you. Not in every circumstance, mind you, but when they've been trying so hard to convince themselves that they don't have feelings for you but then an "I love you" just slips out and it's the most amazing thing to hear because then you know.
You know that those feelings for you are still there and this person still loves you even though he hasn't said so for at least a couple of months now.
He didn't even mean to say it but he was saying goodbye to you after a long, meaningful conversation on the phone.
The world had just felt right again; the way it used to feel when he'd call you and you'd talk for hours about everything and nothing, just enjoying the sounds of each other's voices.
It doesn't matter that he hasn't said it for at least a few months now. It doesn't matter that you'd been feeling him slowly drifting away from your reach, each fibre of his being that was so d
:icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 0 0
Sometimes I think that maybe, I'm still in love with you. That doesn't mean I love my boyfriend any less, it just means that when I think about you, I get a strong pang of pain in my chest, like my ribcage is collapsing around my heart and I remember that's what it felt like when I lost you. The pain isn't as intense as it used to be. It's not that crippling agony that had me silently screaming and crying into my pillow, clawing at and cutting into my chest to try and rip out my heart, rip out the pain. It still hurts though. It's still a hollow, deep ache that makes me crave contact with you. My ears long to hear the sound of your soothing voice again and that point in my tummy where all the laughter swells with happiness and mirth wants me to talk to you, laugh at your jokes and your humorous ways and my heart and soul just want you to want me.
Sometimes I think that maybe, if you'd have me back, I'd leave him for you in an instant. You've both hurt me so fucking much but he's hurt m
:icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 0 0
Mature content
She is a Parasite. :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 0 0
Mature content
For the Cause of My Everything :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 0 3
NOMMING by DylxiaBlackAbyss NOMMING :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 3 2 The Colour in Love.. by DylxiaBlackAbyss The Colour in Love.. :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 1 2 AkuRoku - I'll Make You Happy by DylxiaBlackAbyss
Mature content
AkuRoku - I'll Make You Happy :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 9 17
Suspiciously Like Blood by DylxiaBlackAbyss Suspiciously Like Blood :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 0 1
Mature content
I Almost - AkuRoku :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 8 5
Everything With Nothing by DylxiaBlackAbyss Everything With Nothing :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 1 2 In My Reflection by DylxiaBlackAbyss In My Reflection :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 3 8 On the Airs of Ignorance by DylxiaBlackAbyss On the Airs of Ignorance :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 1 1 How SasuSaku is Interpreted by DylxiaBlackAbyss How SasuSaku is Interpreted :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 2 5 Prop H8- Is He happy now? by DylxiaBlackAbyss
Mature content
Prop H8- Is He happy now? :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 10 4
Completion by DylxiaBlackAbyss Completion :icondylxiablackabyss:DylxiaBlackAbyss 1 6


The Last Days of Summer by Antiquity-Dreams The Last Days of Summer :iconantiquity-dreams:Antiquity-Dreams 933 105 Fenris - Mist by YumiKoyuki
Mature content
Fenris - Mist :iconyumikoyuki:YumiKoyuki 71 8
portrait297 by NadinSeed portrait297 :iconnadinseed:NadinSeed 868 138 Substitution by Miles-Johnston Substitution :iconmiles-johnston:Miles-Johnston 5,515 450 AkuRoku - Time Stands Still by Nijuuni AkuRoku - Time Stands Still :iconnijuuni:Nijuuni 1,307 94 After Hunt by PixieCold After Hunt :iconpixiecold:PixieCold 12,575 619 slow down, slow down, slow... by S-t-r-a-n-g-e slow down, slow down, slow... :icons-t-r-a-n-g-e:S-t-r-a-n-g-e 1,363 91 Loki Cosplay - Imprisoned by Aicosu Loki Cosplay - Imprisoned :iconaicosu:Aicosu 4,273 372 Little Red Riding Hood - Steampunked II by Majin-sama Little Red Riding Hood - Steampunked II :iconmajin-sama:Majin-sama 229 9 Little Red Riding Hood - Steampunked by Majin-sama Little Red Riding Hood - Steampunked :iconmajin-sama:Majin-sama 497 33 Marvel Vs. Capcom Complete Works - Pencils by alvinlee Marvel Vs. Capcom Complete Works - Pencils :iconalvinlee:alvinlee 3,283 394 Loki:) by legadema666 Loki:) :iconlegadema666:legadema666 320 25 Loki by alicexz Loki :iconalicexz:alicexz 10,013 371 Be quiet, Loki by Anixien Be quiet, Loki :iconanixien:Anixien 1,469 207 Loki by TheIdeaFix Loki :icontheideafix:TheIdeaFix 2,012 566



United Kingdom
Current Residence: England
Favourite genre of music: Alt. rock, rock, some metal, a little bit of everything, really. I don't discriminate based on
Favourite style of art: Sort of traditional, I guess. It varies from piece to piece.
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: My phone - which is a walkman, or my iPod. :)
Wallpaper of choice: Art involving lyrics of songs that mean a lot to me.
Skin of choice: My own, thanks. Or a murloc's.
Favourite cartoon character: Sasuke, Naruto and Temari.
~Stolen from Ninjatic.

1: Real Name: Connie

2. Nickname(s): Connegg (from the boyfriend XD), Conneh, Conneth, Connage, Con-Con, Connie Con-Con, Conz, Frank, Sasu.

3: Zodiac Sign: Gemini ~ In some ways it suits, others it doesn't. I'm not two-faced, thanks very much. ;)

4. Male or Female: Femaaale.

5. Elementary School: If this means primary school, it was Croughton All Saint's~ XD

6. High School: Magdalen College Shithole.

7. College/University: I currently attend Magdalen College Shithole's sixth-form centre. University is unknown yet.

8. Hair color: Auburn. <3

9. Tall or short: I'm fairly tall for a girl my age but in general, I'm kinda short. 5'7"-ish.

10. Skinny or Fat: I'd probably say about average, though I do need to lose some more weight~

11. Sweats or Jeans: Jeansssss.

12. Phone or Camera: Phone, though mine is an old and outdated brick. XD

13. Health Freak: Naah, food's good, exercise isn't difficult though so I just try not to let my health or weight get too out of hand.

14. Orange or Apple: Apfel, bitte.

15. Do you have a bf/gf? I has a boyfriend, le David Make. :) <3

17. Piercings: Ssssnakebitessss.. <3 And the usual piercing in each ear.

18. Coke or pepsi: Coke, no matter what silly people say. ;)


19. Been in an airplane: Yes, many times.

21. Been in a car accident: Yes, albeit not a serious one. Was in the back of the car, my mum driving and my boyfriend in the passenger seat and some idiotic woman, whose name was "Mrs Speed", I shit you not, pulled out too fast and crashed into the side of our car, leading to crying, shaken people and our car being written off.  XD

22. Been in a fist fight: Many times, as a child, because stupid bullies kept starting on me. Scum. XD

23. First Piercing: My ears when I was about 7 years old.

24. First best friend: Some girl called Leanne, who I lost contact with at the age of 4 when I moved house.

25. First award: I've no idea. XD

26. First Crush: Ethan Chapman, ololol.

27. First Word: "Brother", because my brothers are awesome. <3


29. Last person you talked to in person: Teh boyfriend. :)

30. Last person you texted: Meine Mutter.

31. Last person you watched a movie with: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, with my secksy boyfriend... Well, only half the film, haha. >:3

32. Last food you ate: A Rolo dessert yoghurt thing. OM. NOM. NOM. <3

33. Last person you went fishing with: I've never properly been... I don't like fishing or fish. XD

34. Last song you listened to: Something by In Flames most rikery.

35: Last thing you bought: Stockings, lulz. 8D

36. Last person you hugged: Booyfrieeeeeeeeend.


37. Food: Probably chow mein~ other noodle-y or Chinese/Japanese food. Nom. :3 I'm hungry now, damn it.

38. Drink:  Meelkshaek, Milo (with shugarrr) or Dr Pepzor.

39. Bottoms: Skinny jeans or my Criminal Damage Scissorhands bondage pants, pl0x.

40. Flower: Roses, lilies or dahlias.

41. Animal: Dogs, rats or wolves. :)

42. Colours: Black, grey and red.

43. Movies: Shaun of the Dead, The Emperor's New Groove, The Road to El Dorado, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. SO MANY MORE. <3

HAVE YOU EVER: (Put an X in the brackets if yes)

45. [X] fallen in love with someone.

46. [X] celebrated Halloween.

47. [X] had your heart broken... [Quite a few times, of course.]

48. [_] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone. - [I'm on pay as you go, so this option is unavailable. XD]

49. [X] had someone question my sexual orientation.

50. [X] I have definitely done this. [Sure, whatever "it" is.. If it's this survey thing, then of course I have. XD]

51. [_] got pregnant.

52. [_] had an abortion.

53. [X] did something I regret. [Who hasn't? It's almost impossible to have no regrets.]

54. [X] broke a promise. [The two significant times.. One was an accident, the other was one I tried very hard not to break but it was sort of in retaliation because this person broke a promise to me.. More than once.]

55. [X] hid a secret. [For a long time but not long enough.]

56. [X] pretended to be happy. [Most of my life.]

57. [X] met someone who changed your life. [And almost ruined it and ended, haha.]

58. [X] pretended to be sick. [If we're talking sick as in ill, then yes.]

59. [X] left the country. [To visit Ireland, Scotland, Malta, Gozo, Florida, Germany, France and California.]

60. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it. [Life's about new experiences.]

61. [X] cried over the silliest thing. [I'm a teenager, it comes with the territory... or hormones.]

62. [_] ran a mile. [Haha, I HIGHLY doubt it.]

63. [X] went to the beach with your best friend. [She was one of my best friends at the time.]

64. [X] got into an argument with your friends. [It's impossible not to at some point.]

65. [X] hated someone. [With everything in me.]

66. [X] stayed single for 2 years. [Haha, until I was 16, that's how it was.]


67. Eating: Am chewing my lip rings, if that counts?

68. Drinking: Water.. blergh, boring.

69. Listening to: The occasional "I love you" and the sound of the boyfriend playing Battlefield.

70. Sitting/Laying: A mix between the two. :)

71. Plans for today: Get nomz, play a game~ maybe, maybe do some writing, listen to some choonz, cuddle up and schleeeeep. /sappiness. <3

72. Waiting: For fooood.


73. Want kids? Not really~ I did a good enough job of fucking up my own life without continuing on to fuck up someone else's, thanks. ;)

74. Want to get married: No thanks, though I could change my mind.

75. Career: Something stemming from the occupation of an English degree. XD


76. Lips or eyes: Tend to prefer them with all the basic facial features, thanks. XD

77. Shorter or taller: The same height or taller, preferably.

78. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous, I guess. If it's been over-thought and it's ridiculously cliche, it will most likely just piss me off. Random "I love you"s and nice things are better. <3

81. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship at this point in time.

82. Looks or personality: Personality > looks, fo' sure.


83. Have you ever lost glasses/contacts: I have not~ seeing as I don't wear either.

84. Snuck out of the house: Probably, at some point.

85: Held a gun or knife for self defense: No, because I'm not silleh. XD

87. Broken someone's heart: I doubt it.. I wish I had though, haha, some people deserve it.

88. Been in love: Twice, including now.

89. Cried when someone died: Yes, a lot~.


90. Yourself: I believe that I exist but I have no faith in myself.

91. Miracles: Pfttt, no.

92. Love at first sight: Haha, no way. I know you can tell if something's GOING to happen between you and a person you've just met but love is impossible at that stage.

93. Heaven: Narp..

94. Santa Claus: No, my mum ruined it for me when I was about 7.

95: Sex on the first date: If you feel ready, then sure. Why even go with a date? :'D

96. Kissing on the first date: Why not?


97. Is there one person you want to be with you right now: He's with me. <3

98. Do you know who your real friends are: Not really but you never really know until they're gone.

99. Do you believe in God?: No way.

100. Post as 100 truths: What else could I name it? :)
  • Listening to: Dahvid playing Battlefield. XD
  • Reading: Words. OHARHAR, I'M SO WITTY. &not;_&not;
  • Watching: These letters magically appearing as I type
  • Playing: Nothing, though I may play Champions Online~
  • Eating: Nichts
  • Drinking: Wasser


Add a Comment:
Ninzz-MiniGoth Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for adding me to your watch! <3
PeanutYuh Featured By Owner May 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch :heart:
DylxiaBlackAbyss Featured By Owner May 16, 2012
No problem. You're so talented. (:
PeanutYuh Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
>//< :heart:
SoloGrayson Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
:iconshaplz::iconsaysplz: Thanks for the watch!
Annie-Christ Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010  Student Writer
Thanks for the watch, nukka.
Soul-Daemon Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
FANKS for teh random watch i shall watch thee back!
DylxiaBlackAbyss Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2010
XD No problem! I loveeee your work! :D
Esme-Silver Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
Hii Connie :love: epic journal btw!! XD ^^
DylxiaBlackAbyss Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
Heyy Cami! :heart: Hahaa, thanks, the drabble generator is just so much fun~! :D
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